Life has it's own plan

Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you plan. My plan consisted of giving birth to a new baby some time last week. But seeing as I don't have a newborn, my plans have been extremely altered. As you know, Oakley is two and half now and in desperate need of a sibling, mainly because we spoil him so much. Well, a year ago we started trying for another one. We found out in September that another kiddo was on the way and was due in May. We were excited. I really wanted a spring baby because Oak had been born in October and I didn't like being stuck inside with a new baby all winter, so May was perfect.

Well, October rolled around and so did my first doctors appointment. This part didn't go as planned either. I went in excited to hear the heart beat and see my fun, jovial doctor again. Everything was fine until my doctor did an ultrasound. He just sat there for a minute looking at the screen and moving the little wand thing. Then he said it didn't look good. I could see that there was a big black circle, but nothing inside of it. He said he was going to have the ultrasound tech look because she was more trained then he was, but when she looked, she said the same thing, there just wasn't a baby in there. I was crushed. I had no warning, no signs, nothing. Of course I cryed and they felt bad, but they were so kind and sensitive, and talked me through everything that happened and why it did and what was going to happen now. My Dr. said that 70% of pregnancies end in miscarriages for one reason or another, and mine just hadn't happened yet. He also said that the reason there wasn't a baby was basically because somewhere in the beginning, something just wasn't right so it didn't grow. It sort of made me feel better, because you always want the best for your baby and you don't want it to struggle from the beginning. I also totally understood that it wasn't my fault and that I really couldn't have done anything different.

Anyway, that day ended up being really hard for me. I went to my mom's house for comfort and Wes took the rest of the day off work. The worst part about the whole thing was being sick for a whole month for nothing, but that's the way it goes. It helped me to try and find the good things about the whole situation, some being that I wouldn't be sick when we went to Cincinnati, or California, or that I could ref volleyball without being sick. In the end, we weren't suppose to have a baby at that time, so it all worked out.

Well, 8 months later and many doctors visits later, I am proud to announce that plan B is a go. We are expecting another kiddo in November. I'm about 15 weeks along, and I have proof that there's something there and that it has a heart beat. I'm almost through the sick phase, which is why I can sit at my computer now and type, where I couldn't really before, hense the lack of posts the past few months.

I've been debating whether to right this post for a while, but I decided it's not really a pity post, but more of a post that I think many of you will understand and it might help you someday if the same thing happens. As for now, I must go eat. Adios.